i was happy then but now i am not. i can't stay happy for a month. january hasn't end and i'm feeling like this already. all the negative thoughts crawl up my mind and my insecurities eats me up, alive. i can't bare to suffer this pain anymore and i can't bare crying every night for nothing at all. i'm sad and i will forever be sad. people cheer me up but nobody can give me the kind of happiness i longed for. nobody understands me and nobody will ever will, but it is okay because this is natural to me. that's it. from now on whichever guy come into my life i will never, ever, waste my time on them. be it you. you people are not worth it, you people are just the same. you people just come and go and leave a mark in my life. education sucks, art's stressing me up. i'm so stressed, i'm so depressed. i am so lost and confused. i am so lonely and sad. i am crying. i can't stop. i hate my life. i need to pause time and sleep, and wake up whenever i want to. i am tired and i want a break. i'm falling apart and i can't get myself back together again. i never wanted any of these.