why me?

I lost myself somewhere and i'm trying to get it back. But people wouldn't want to help me, they won't let me. They hate me. They like to see me die quietly. They like to hurt me and always disagree with me. They won't talk to me. They control me. They hate me. And i'm trying to live with it. I'm trying to be ignorant here, ignorant to this world. I'm trying to not care about my insecurities but it's too strong. I can't do this alone, so why won't you help me?